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Sep 23 / admin

Come to a Crazy Dive Bar and Hear Me Read

New York City’s Best Dive Bars: Drinking and Diving in the Big Apple comes out in just a few days.

If you pre-order, it should be at your house by the end of next week. If you’d prefer an autographed copy, however, there will be a number of opportunities to hear me read in the coming months.

These will not be run-of-the-mill readings, however; not only will they be held in the finest, most surreal spots in NYC, but they’ll mix in strange performances by some of the city’s finest and tipsiest artists, as well as giveaways, and, probably, something to do with the band Skid Row.

The first is Wednesday, October 6, at Port 41, a Hell’s Kitchen dive bar of the finest caliber. (Address, time, and other info on this blog’s brand new “Appearances” button.) It’s a bikini bar, but not toooo sleazy, and surprisingly inexpensive. Don’t order any of the beers on tap, however. They all taste the same, which is to say, like warm, de-carbonated Miller High Life.

But, don’t take my word for it. Here’s a testimonial from the bar’s site:

For what it is, this spot is excellent. Yes, it’s a dive bar, accept it. Lets check the amenities at this supposedly “bland” bar. A mounted hippo head. Cheap beers on tap and bottle including Guinness on tap. …Well lit, but not annoyingly bright. Plenty of infra-red security cams for all you fraidy cats and would-be criminals in addition to a 24hr NYPD security booth literally right outside the place. Low key security who get the job done when need be, but are almost invisible otherwise. A wildly varied clientele in terms of age, sex and personality. Oh and um, last but not least, attractive bartenders wearing bikinis all day every day. In addition, all the bartenders are unique personalities and very friendly unless you’re a fool or a nasty drunk (tip them well). All in all a great find in Hell’s kitchen for a quick beer before your bus or train as well as for a night of drunken madness. You’ll have more fun here than at any similar bar in the vicinity.

Here that? In the vicinity. See you there!